Tougher ..

.. but not bitter, nor harden

My Dear Cousin,

It's been seven months and some change ..
Still it's hard for all of us to think about what happend to you ..
For a youngsta, just as old as you was, to take your life like it was nothing ..
Still we don't understand .. and still we miss you every single day.
I miss you .. still I do. Most of the time I just look at your picture and a deep pain is going through my stomach ..

Maik, Nate, Jill, Chan and I .. we all had a personal relationship with you .. Everytime when we went to your island it was as if we loved through soul .. a real family connection. Bonded so strong! You really loved us and we really love you!
You were a family man, your mom and lil'sis were everything to you. Since uncle/your dad died 6 years ago, you were the man of the house and showed it in every single letter of that sentence. Without even saying it out loud! You were what most people wanted to be in their teens .. an adult. You worked hard and went to school to make something of yourself .. for your family!
To this day it's been hard to believe that you actually left this big round wonder that God created. And I believe it was an act of ignorance .. but I don't exactly know it either, because I wasn't there ..
All I know cous, is that I loved to look at you and to listen to you .. pretty boy with your bright and edgy sentences that blew even a 60 year old man away! Hahah .. even when you were lil, you could blow everyone away with you're cocky questions and bottom-line jokes (always filled with the truth, ofcourse). And everytime when you saw me, you would ask me how my country was!
If it's cold (because you heared that it would snowed down here sometimes), if it was raining everyday and if I liked living there.
Your eyes said a million things at once .. curiousity, excitement; beautiful brown eyes filled with millions of dreams. Ready to see the world.
The plan was that if you'd turn 18, you'd come here to study and be with us.

But 18 never showed up ..I'll never knew why it was you ..
Actually, I don't care anymore .. We don't get you back with 'wondering why' all the time..
All I can do is pray to God to keep your soul save and close to Him!
He already kept us close and gave us strength when we had to say goodbye to you!

Jesus sure is faithful! HE IS THE FAITHFUL GOD! HOW WE LOVE HIM!
You are so deeply missed! You have no idea ...And you have no idea how much we love you ..
We really do! God knows it .. and He is taking care of auntie/your mom and your lil' sis, don't worry ..

Love always, Dear Roly

Rest peacefully handsome!


The reason why I wrote this blog is not to share my burdens or my pain, but make people aware of the fact that guns really kill people. My dear cousin of 17 y.o was shot by a friend on july 31th 2008. He was just a talented boy that worked hard, went to school everyday.
And when he got home, he took care of the most important people in his life: his mom and his lil'sister.

The whole family is left with grief, disbelief and confusion, but our God is an awesome God!
He is a true Saviour and He's shown that to all of us.He's bringing me and my family through it all and comforts us with love!
Alot of young people make descisions that can destroy them or somebody elses life!
In this case end it ..We need , as christian brothers and sisters, to show young people that love is still around us. You just have to except love for what it is: Wonderful and Real, even when it's confusing! Even if it hurts .. It'll last just a lil' while and will be something you looked all your life for .. and you know what?

God=Love!

If you can identify with this story, feel free to respond and let's pray that God opens our eyes to do good and defend ourself, through His love, from evil. Let's never stop doing the right thing!

Thank you and God bless you unconditionally.

Till nxt writings!

*Mwah* Frizz